eg: i accidentally registered in my brain there are 24 months in a year. Thus resulting me presenting my patient's case during bedside as 'my patient is 1 year and 23 months'. Errrr... like, OMG! i think others who heard would so reasonably think, 'WTH?' ;(
makes me wanna cry even more. i don't know what's wrong with me =( whuaaa... maybe at first it sounds funny. but after some time i'm actually worried =(
Seriously, i have never questioned myself 'why do i want to become a doctor' before. But lately this question suddenly popped into my head. And it's weird because being a doctor is the only ambition i have since i was little. Even when i applied for scholarship i only put 1 option although i could have listed a lot of other courses. And i have always wanted to become a doc, no matter what. I have my own reasons of why i wanna become a doctor, and they are all actually reasons to make me a better person.
But maybe somehow i'm starting to lose faith in myself that i can become a good one. I don't want to just become any other doctor. I don't want to become just a doctor, i want to become a good one. But reflecting myself nowadays, i don't think my effort of wanting to become is equal to my own expectations.
This is actually kinda the biggest fear for now. I am always very determined and sure what i want in life. But when i start doubting, that's when i'm scared. I'm my biggest enemy.
Scared of things i'm capable of doing, and scared of the things i'm not capable of doing.
Ya Allah, please guide me... Please keep me close to You and never let me lose my way....
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